My 8th semester's almost wind up..three more weeks of hard work and cramming n im done..tats all in my mind,little did i know that its important to catch the finishing line with a feeling of pride that u staged ur best while running.
I knew i screwed up this semester,infact worst than all the previous sems but i didnt worry as long as i manage to snuck in my assignments long after everbody submitted ..my presentations were late,my assignments were late n my skill development is no less(when i say late it means the deadlines+extras+extras+one more day :) the other day i went to the college library to actually sit down wit a book for the first time in a whole 4 months n i didnt like what it feels like-the feeling when i see my peer group sittin around a table discussing acts,noting down key points and cracking computations...then i realise how much ive been lagging behind and i sat there for a whole 3 hours thinking n cursing wat an obtuse-futile-she-male 'ive made myself of,the kind of moment u just wanna hit urself n say "u crack head,wat have u done?!",yes i had that moment ryte ther n id say im one lucky bitch not to have a supreme court journal or an SN.MISRA's labour law book lying around my table otherwise i swear i wud have hit me big head hard and said "u ask for it".
Moving on...now i have barely ten days left n im not done mourning the idiot-moron i was but what the heck!,the perfect tick when the old fable "better late than never" kicks in..it is a must-apply...so yes im starting now n im not proud of who n what ive become lately but lessons learned i guess.
And if u dnt see any new post after this then i hope u know its a good thing...ill be back when i have my summer breaks...ciao =)
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
summer and its baggage
Items in this set:
Tubular Handle leather bag, $1,900
Crystal-studded suede clutch, $905
Alexander mcqueen bags BLUE, 860 GBP
Chloe bags TAN, 725 GBP
Tubular Handle leather bag, $1,900
Crystal-studded suede clutch, $905
Alexander mcqueen bags BLUE, 860 GBP
Chloe bags TAN, 725 GBP
Items in this set:
Eureka studded suede sandals, $795
Caravelle leopard-print sandals, $285
Janet & Janet 25004, $200
Kaylee flip flop embellished, $78
Eureka studded suede sandals, $795
Caravelle leopard-print sandals, $285
Janet & Janet 25004, $200
Kaylee flip flop embellished, $78
Items in this set:
High-waisted linen shorts, $1,205
VIVIENNE WESTWOOD ANGLOMANIA 68012933 RED SILK PANTALONE, 350 GBP
Pluto-06 Black Trouser, 225 GBP
Slinky Drawstring Trouser, $185
High-waisted linen shorts, $1,205
VIVIENNE WESTWOOD ANGLOMANIA 68012933 RED SILK PANTALONE, 350 GBP
Pluto-06 Black Trouser, 225 GBP
Slinky Drawstring Trouser, $185
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
SLEW OF MY FAVOURITE QUOTATIONS
"deceiving people...that is what the world calls a romance"
-OSCAR WILDE
"My characters are more like men than these real men are, see. They're rough and rude, they got hands and they got bellies. They hate and they lust; break the skin of civilization and you find the ape, roaring and red-handed."
- ROBERT E. HOWARD
“If we didn't live venturously, plucking the wild goat by the beard, and trembling over precipices, we should never be depressed, I've no doubt; but already should be faded, fatalistic and aged"
- VIRGINIA WOOLF
“History shows us that the people who end up changing the world – the great political, social, scientific, technological, artistic, even sports revolutionaries – are always nuts, until they are right, and then they are geniuses.”
- JOHN ELLIOT
"Women are made to be loved, not understood.
- OSCAR WILDE
"(Tool+Training+Experience) x Mindset = Goal/Success —- BUT if your mindset is zero then equation is (100 + 100 +100) x 0 = Failure."
- SOME RANDOM GENIUS :)
“Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you can come to your senses.”
– PEACEFUL WARRIOR
“Just remember, the same as a spectacular Vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you follow the jumps: Continued on page whatever. No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice. None of this matters. We're just warming up."
- CHUCK PALAHNUIK
"Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching?"
~Dennis and Wendy Mannering
"I can live for two months on a good compliment."
- MARK TWAIN.
“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on." - DAVID HARKINS
"Wherever you go, go with all your heart"
- CONFUCIUS
“The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. stone crumbles. wood rots. people, well, they die. but things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.”
- CHUCK PALAHNUIK
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes"
- CHARLES R SWINDOLL.
"Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code...he turned himself in."
- RITA RUDNER
The real revolution is, women against men
-DORRIS LESSING(the golden notebook)
-OSCAR WILDE
"My characters are more like men than these real men are, see. They're rough and rude, they got hands and they got bellies. They hate and they lust; break the skin of civilization and you find the ape, roaring and red-handed."
- ROBERT E. HOWARD
“If we didn't live venturously, plucking the wild goat by the beard, and trembling over precipices, we should never be depressed, I've no doubt; but already should be faded, fatalistic and aged"
- VIRGINIA WOOLF
“History shows us that the people who end up changing the world – the great political, social, scientific, technological, artistic, even sports revolutionaries – are always nuts, until they are right, and then they are geniuses.”
- JOHN ELLIOT
"Women are made to be loved, not understood.
- OSCAR WILDE
"(Tool+Training+Experience) x Mindset = Goal/Success —- BUT if your mindset is zero then equation is (100 + 100 +100) x 0 = Failure."
- SOME RANDOM GENIUS :)
“Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you can come to your senses.”
– PEACEFUL WARRIOR
“Just remember, the same as a spectacular Vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you follow the jumps: Continued on page whatever. No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice. None of this matters. We're just warming up."
- CHUCK PALAHNUIK
"Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching?"
~Dennis and Wendy Mannering
"I can live for two months on a good compliment."
- MARK TWAIN.
“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on." - DAVID HARKINS
"Wherever you go, go with all your heart"
- CONFUCIUS
“The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. stone crumbles. wood rots. people, well, they die. but things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.”
- CHUCK PALAHNUIK
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes"
- CHARLES R SWINDOLL.
"Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code...he turned himself in."
- RITA RUDNER
The real revolution is, women against men
-DORRIS LESSING(the golden notebook)
Saturday, May 8, 2010
ITS HARD LETTING GO
i was his little girl
the pampered princess
he wants to give me everything he cud possibly afford
he love my frens cos he knows how much they mean to me
he stays up late with me during my exams
he buys me clothes on his own even though hes not sure if its in or out
we go for long drives together
he let me do anything i want
he believes in me
it was time i leave
we said our goodbyes
little did we know the "goodbye" was for real n for a lifetime
one phone call
the call that conveys a message to a daughter that her father is no more in this world
the call tat shatters my whole world
it felt like a dream..no i want t to be a dream
it felt like its the end of everything
it hurts so much
it hurts more knowing that i have to be strong for my two little brothers who so looked up to me
there he lay
so peacefully sleeping
i called him
i somehow felt if i call him maybe he'll wake up to see his little angel coming home
but he just lay there with his lips sealed n eyes shut
i saw my two little brothers sitting there so disappointed
their eyes said they needed answers
answers to know y their daddy had to be taken away so early
they dnt exactly understand wats going on but u cud tell they're really hurting
there are so many things i didnt tell him yet
he left before hearing me out
he left before i cud tell him how good he looked in his maroon shirt
he left before i cud tell him hes the only one who ever make me laugh so hard
he left before i cud tell him hes the best father i cud ask for
he left before i cud thank him for letting me do anything i want
he just left...
its been 3 years,4 months and 4 days
i thought i had moved on
but i realise i hadnt
and maybe i never will
how cud i let go of a memory so beautiful n true
when its all i have left to remind me how having a father feels like
he used to visit me in my dreams
we wud talk n laugh
but hes not around much anymore
i prayed everynyte that he wud come n visit me
cos its the only way i cud have a father again
there are times i locked myself in a room n cried
there are times i just wanna scream out loud and call for him
there are times i hide my tears seein my mom struggling so hard
shes trying to be strong but shes breaking inside
she misses someone to tell her how beautiful she is
she needed someone to talk to when shes losing it
my heart breaks to see my brothers so lost without him
to see them trying to be strong for my mom
to see my little bro andrew still sleeping with her everynyte since dad died
he wudnt let her sleep alone even if she tells him to sleep in his room
i know that they needed him more than i do
one more month to go n its summer break
as usual ill be picking out stuff for each of them
i cant help but notice the stuffs which id love to get for him
the lighters he fancied so much
the cotton jeans hes so fond of
the shoes he wud wear wit every jeans n formals
i know the exact stuff to get for him
if only he were still here
i know he would have loved t..
now i know moving on or letting go isnt the answer
im not even sure wat the answer is
maybe holding on to memories is how id like da answers to be
and they said time heals
but it doesnt
all i know now is that its okay to miss him n shed a tear every once in a while
its okay to let t out once in a while
we miss u dad
we're fighting it
i know we're gonna be alright.
love you so much...kisses XX
the pampered princess
he wants to give me everything he cud possibly afford
he love my frens cos he knows how much they mean to me
he stays up late with me during my exams
he buys me clothes on his own even though hes not sure if its in or out
we go for long drives together
he let me do anything i want
he believes in me
it was time i leave
we said our goodbyes
little did we know the "goodbye" was for real n for a lifetime
one phone call
the call that conveys a message to a daughter that her father is no more in this world
the call tat shatters my whole world
it felt like a dream..no i want t to be a dream
it felt like its the end of everything
it hurts so much
it hurts more knowing that i have to be strong for my two little brothers who so looked up to me
there he lay
so peacefully sleeping
i called him
i somehow felt if i call him maybe he'll wake up to see his little angel coming home
but he just lay there with his lips sealed n eyes shut
i saw my two little brothers sitting there so disappointed
their eyes said they needed answers
answers to know y their daddy had to be taken away so early
they dnt exactly understand wats going on but u cud tell they're really hurting
there are so many things i didnt tell him yet
he left before hearing me out
he left before i cud tell him how good he looked in his maroon shirt
he left before i cud tell him hes the only one who ever make me laugh so hard
he left before i cud tell him hes the best father i cud ask for
he left before i cud thank him for letting me do anything i want
he just left...
its been 3 years,4 months and 4 days
i thought i had moved on
but i realise i hadnt
and maybe i never will
how cud i let go of a memory so beautiful n true
when its all i have left to remind me how having a father feels like
he used to visit me in my dreams
we wud talk n laugh
but hes not around much anymore
i prayed everynyte that he wud come n visit me
cos its the only way i cud have a father again
there are times i locked myself in a room n cried
there are times i just wanna scream out loud and call for him
there are times i hide my tears seein my mom struggling so hard
shes trying to be strong but shes breaking inside
she misses someone to tell her how beautiful she is
she needed someone to talk to when shes losing it
my heart breaks to see my brothers so lost without him
to see them trying to be strong for my mom
to see my little bro andrew still sleeping with her everynyte since dad died
he wudnt let her sleep alone even if she tells him to sleep in his room
i know that they needed him more than i do
one more month to go n its summer break
as usual ill be picking out stuff for each of them
i cant help but notice the stuffs which id love to get for him
the lighters he fancied so much
the cotton jeans hes so fond of
the shoes he wud wear wit every jeans n formals
i know the exact stuff to get for him
if only he were still here
i know he would have loved t..
now i know moving on or letting go isnt the answer
im not even sure wat the answer is
maybe holding on to memories is how id like da answers to be
and they said time heals
but it doesnt
all i know now is that its okay to miss him n shed a tear every once in a while
its okay to let t out once in a while
we miss u dad
we're fighting it
i know we're gonna be alright.
love you so much...kisses XX
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